My new husband is twenty years older than I am and he has four other wives. He’s physically repulsive to me as well but he has one thing to offer me right now and that is security. I have somewhere to stay with him and without this polygamist marriage I’m in, I would likely be hitchhiking to further uncertainty. My situation in a loveless plural marriage to a religious fanatic seems horrid and it is but it’s still preferable to my continued existence with my physically abusive father.
I suppose the fact that I’m not sexually attracted to my husband in the slightest makes his physical advances towards me seem like rape. I don’t think of it like that. Instead, I imagine I’m like a courtesan and I’m paying my room and board with sex. I doubt that most hookers are attracted to all of their clients either.
It’s now been nearly one month since my wedding. Our honeymoon is down to our having sex twice per day from the 4 or 5 times per day pace the marriage started at. I don’t have any contraceptives left so I make sure I finish my husband in ways that will not result in pregnancy. We haven’t actually talked about this with my husband but I don’t think he really wants me pregnant yet either. I have a nubile young body for him to enjoy and he’s certainly using me exclusively over his other wives.
The other wives still haven’t fully accepted me and that’s fine because I don’t care if I ever totally fit in. I don’t think any of the other wives really love our polygamist husband strongly enough to feel jealous of the fact that I’m getting all of the sex just now. I would gladly share it out if I could because I don’t want it but they don’t seem to miss his physical attentions much either. Why should they? Our husband is no Casanova.
I’m getting more used to my situation in a polygamy lifestyle and I suspect I’ll grow to like it more. I think it will be comfortable not to be the only wife in a household. I just wish the polygamy included a few more husbands as well so I had a change of scenery in my bed occasionally. A domestic unit that had about three husbands with seven wives would be ideal. I wonder if the monogamous marriages would go out of fashion if bigamy weren’t illegal?
I’m also getting pretty tired of all this religious garbage. The man I’m married to is part of a sect and that’s why he can get away with having more than one wife. The downside is that he has to keep spouting off all the church stuff. To be totally truthful, I’m not completely convinced that either he or his other wives are really devout. There are just too many discrepancies. I wonder if the primary reason that he pretends is so he can continue being a polygamist. I wonder what kind of mess a multiple divorce would turn out to be?
Well, I’ll write more another time.